A Gun and My Brain Injury

Guns Can’t Think

By Eric Nelson

New Year’s Eve

I wish I could tell you what year but I can’t, because I can’t remember. All I can remember is that it was a New Year’s Eve when I learned that guns can’t think, and I became a Brain Injury Survivor. I was at a friend’s house when I learned this valuable lesson.

A gun only works when someone picks it up to use it or just look at like I did. I didn’t know it was loaded, but as I was looking at it I must have pulled the trigger because I shot myself in the head. Apparently I wasn’t thinking either, or the accident wouldn’t have happened. I would have thought before picking it up had I been.

Up-Bringing

My brother and I grew up learning from our mother and grandmother how important it was to stop, look, and listen before crossing a street. We were warned to look before we leaped. Both women stressed how important it was to think about the consequences of our actions, but I didn’t. Instead I’m reminded (every time I look into a mirror and see that scar running from the edge of my forehead, and making an interesting swoop across my scalp) of the fact that guns can’t think.

The Gun

My life changed a lot when that gun and I didn’t think. I had been into running track and playing football during High School. I moved on after High School to attend Roosevelt College in Chicago. I went in as a Business Major, but graduated instead as a Licensed Practical Nurse. I can’t tell you what type of nursing I went into because I can’t remember, but I do remember I was continuing my studies so I could become a Registered Nurse like my mother, even though I knew the stressors she had endured while trying to work and raise 2 boys. My brother and I did our best to help her around the house, but we could only do what boys can do. We tried to cook and clean. We weren’t the best, but at least we tried.

I know I married the girl I dated while in High School and that I have 2 beautiful daughters. I can remember their names, but when another member of the Brain Injury Clubhouse I attend asked me their ages I couldn’t remember. Even something that means so much to me, I can’t remember anymore. I just know they are mine even though their mother and I are no longer together.

And Now

I’m a brain injury survivor. I’m a man who has to rely on others to get me where I need to go. I’m someone who always enjoyed learning but need help to learn now. The staff and other members of the clubhouse help me to learn new things on the days I attend. As I become comfortable with a new task I do my best to help others to learn as well.
I recently graduated from the VCVTP Job Club (Virginia Clubhouse Vocational Transitions Program) where I learned a lot about myself, my strengths and weaknesses. I know I can’t return to nursing and even if I tried I couldn’t remember what my duties entailed. But I’m hoping with all the new things I am learning that one day I can find a job I can do safely and possibly remember how to do it right.

I’m hoping at the moment that there are young people reading this story. They need to know that it’s up to them not to make the same mistake I did. They need to know that guns can’t think, but they can. If they don’t stop and think they could end up becoming another victim of brain injury or worse, they could be dead. That’s not what I want or anyone else wants for their futures. If there aren’t young people reading this, then I’m asking that adults take the time to talk to their children as well as other young people about the fact that Guns Can’t Think.

Denbigh House, located in Virginia, is a clubhouse for people with brain injuries. denbighhouse@gmail.com www.communityfuturesva.org