Husbands and wives describe the grief and loss of mourning when a spouse has a brain injury. This information and articles can be used for support groups and newsletters.
Grieving is a deep sadness that we try to avoid, it is an anguish in your heart that words really can’t touch or describe. But, I know from experience that grieving is necessary and must be embraced when there has been a loss in your life.
Grieving a loss after a death, catastrophic injury, chronic illness or transitional loss is a hard, long, and difficult process. When a family member survives a traumatic brain injury, there are still losses to grieve as life will not be the same again. Avoiding the emotional pain that comes with grieving can delay and complicate the healing process.
There is no way to the other side of grief except to go through it. Take time to heal – for however long that takes! You are worth it!
Each loss and every aspect of the loss can be a source of pain and must be grieved. Each loss needs to be worked through individually and yes, this takes time.
There are many types of death with brain injury. With my son, Derek, it was the death of physical pain and suffering. That’s the “blessing” you often hear preachers talk about. But, in my opinion, no violent death is a blessing! Not in the hearts and minds of those who must endure the darkness of their own private hell!
Whether it is the death of a loved one or the other deaths that many victims of brain injury must face, I still cannot see the blessing in that.
It is our duty, as advocates, to shed a brighter light on the darkness of ignorance and the often-devastating effects of brain injury. Stories such as mine show some of the horrors that brain injury can have, not only upon the victim but upon their family and loved ones.
The single most important element to successfully surviving a brain injury is learning to live with the many impairments — physical, cognitive, emotional, and/or behavioral—that accompany a major insult to the brain.
My wife Jessica’s automobile accident caused irreparable damage to her brain. A split second of inattention permanently transformed her in many ways. For Jessica to recover successfully from her injury, the most important thing she needed to do was to recognize and learn to live with her new impairments.