It was a Monday night, over a candle lit dinner with music softly playing in the back ground, when my partner of ten years informed me that we needed to separate. I was shocked. “For how long?” I asked. “Permanently,” she stated. “Then that’s a divorce, not a separation,” I clarified. “Yes,” she answered. “When?” I asked. Suddenly, I was fired as friend, lover and life partner, with a few weeks’ notice. My world began to crumble.
ALL TBI SURVIVORS AND CARE GIVERS NEED TO KNOW that improvement is possible, even years later. It always amazes me the amount of healing that can take place in the...Read more »
One thing that has confused me since my TBI is empathy. I want everyone to have it and forgive me when I'm rude, forgetful, and overwhelmed. More than anything, I...Read more »
Being disabled is not fun! A car collision for me in 2000 resulted in a coma, fractured C1-C4 vertebrae, a Traumatic Brain Injury, and one and a half years...Read more »
Writing for families gets little support or recognition in clinical and academic circles. It’s time to rethink biases and disincentives that leave families uninformed and searching for information about brain...Read more »
The autobiography of Brain Injury Survivor and five time cross country charity bicyclist Mike Heikes. Mike formed "helmets For Kids", giving away thousands of free helmets. It tells how Mike...Read more »
As I write this, the calendar says July 5, 2013, but my mind is pulled back to July 5, 1998. That’s because my husband Alan suffered the massive heart attack...Read more »
This week I had the pleasure of being a guest of Kim Justus, host of the Recovery Now show, on Brain Injury Radio. Kim is a brain injury survivor and...Read more »
My wheelbarrow tire suddenly goes flat. With the spring thaw, dirt and debris to be loaded on and carted around, not good timing. What to do? What turns out is a...Read more »
Since my accident, I’ve taken up an interest in nuclear physics. That alone is a bit of an oddity. Most of your Kids don’t realize that all the matter that...Read more »
Four years ago, I survived two Mild Traumatic Brain Injuries, one from a car accident in which I was broadsided while idling at a stoplight. My driver’s side and curtain...Read more »
Featured Brain Injury Articles
I have met so many people who would like to write their story, but they told me that they have no idea how to begin. It isn’t that they don’t know the story it is more about being stuck on ‘the mechanics’ of writing and doubting that they are a writer. The first step then is to let that judgment go. Just write your story and trust that someone will help you edit and polish your work.
Kvetching (complaining) is no longer my favorite pastime. Yes I do get pissed off, a lot, but I let it pass, or move it aside and get down to work. There is so much to do and so little time so kvetching is now just a hobby. Before my accident I ‘invented’, my patent portfolio attests to this, or ‘discovered’ (my scientific papers chronicle those efforts) but now, since graduating from rehabilitation, I no longer invent, I re-invent. What do I need to re-invent? Plain and simply put, myself.
According to Dr. Frank Crane, “Nobody has things just as he would like them. The thing to do is to make a success with what material I have. It is a sheer waste of time and soul power to imagine what I would do if things were different. They are not different.” (Cook, 1993). After experiencing a traumatic event that causes one’s whole way of thinking, way of life and cognitive function to change, it is difficult to focus on anything outside of “I wish I were the same as I used to be.” If a victim of a TBI remains fixated on this thought, the probability of progressing to the next level of recovery, or the next level of higher functioning will be very slim. However, on a positive note, if one changes his or her way of thinking, or the mindset of their fixation, the results could be empowering and allow them to succeed.
At times we forget how much choice plays into where we are in life. You can choose to feel whatever you want to feel. You can choose to work on making a difference for yourself and others – and you can choose to not make a difference. You can choose to change your life and move it in the direction you want, but along with the choice there comes a commitment to do the work.
When do you as a caregiver stop ‘caring too much’? You know what I mean, when do you stop second guessing yourself about everything? A sniffle, a cough, a tired look… is it a cold? Is it something more? Are they tired? Are they over tired? Is this the beginning of a ‘new development’ in your journey? When do we (here I mean me…) stop trying to fix everything before it is broken?
Last week we talked about how to figure out what causes or triggers an angry response. Now let’s get into how to set up and use a behavior plan. I’ve also included important points to keep the survivor and family safe.
One of the hot topics surrounding brain injury is what happens to the aging population. Read on and find many helpful tips on staying safe if you or a family member is an aging brain injury survivor.
Over the years, I’ve met hundreds of individuals who have rebounded from difficult, if not tragic, events in their lives. And each time that I encounter someone new who has survived such an event, I find myself with this same appreciation… those who strive to overcome obstacles in their life are not only strong, courageous and an inspiration…they are extraordinary!
What strikes me watching Gabrielle Giffords board the airplane is that first time out after brain surgery. I remember my wife Kerry pushing me on the wheelchair one bright August afternoon outside the hospital. Excited to breath fresh air, I couldn’t wait. The trip, however, did not live up to expectations—no warm and soothing but harsh and glaring.