Excerpts

Getting Better and Better after Brain Injury: A guide for families, friends and caregivers

A few good ideas that work are better than a million that might.

No doubt, brain injury causes drastic life changes. In their efforts to adjust and function, each family member usually faces at least four major challenges.

1. Coping with unexpected problems soon after the injury and in the longer-term
2. Helping the injured person get better
3. Helping other family members cope and go on with their lives
4. Trying to get back to as normal a life as possible.

Progress may take months, if not, years. Sometimes a return to how things “used to be: isn’t entirely possible.

Idea # 13

Interviews with the general public reveal that job, household, and childcare responsibilities are major sources of life stress. No matter who you are, stress can have a terrible negative impact on your life. How you feel about your life depends much on how you manage stress.

Fact: You are not immune to stress. Everyone is affected by stress. With your family member’s injury and added responsibilities, you are more vulnerable to the negative effects of stress.

Fact: The effects of stress add up over time. You may not feel "all that bothered" by what has happened. You many feel that you "can handle things OK." Know that stress weakens your ability to handle new challenges. Without breaks, you run the risk of emotional collapse.

Fact: Many people don’t realize how much stress they have faced and are facing. Lack of recognizing comes from a focus on doing things and "trying not to think about what’s happening."

What is stress?

Think of stress as "carrying a stuffed backpack up a big mountain." Climbing the first hundred feet, your pack may not seem heavy at all. Though you don’t add anything to the pack as you climb, the pack seems heavier and heavier as you climb higher and higher without resting. For most people, stress is a feeling or thought that you must do something. In general, the amount of stress you feel relates to several factors:

• how much you have to do and the number of people telling you to do it - the more you must do and the greater the number of people telling you to do it, the more stress you’ll feel
• difficulty level of tasks – the harder and more challenging, the more stress you’ll feel
• your beliefs about the consequences of failure – the worse you think that the consequences will be, the greater the amount of stress you’ll feel.

What are the major dangers of stress?

• Reduced quality of life. Feeling stressed is very unpleasant. You may end up feeling hopeless and feeling that you have no control over your life.
• Reduced productivity. High levels of stress will make your work seem harder. You will become less productive and you will be less able to help others.
• Impaired health. As you become less productive, the risk of health-related problems increases. Sleep problems, head-aches, fatigue, and even memory problems are common. Preoccupied with all you have to do, you may find yourself driving dangerously, or eating too much, or not at all.
• Reduced motivation: Feeling that you don’t have the energy or will to try.
• Harming your relationships. Support from other people will help you do much better. Yet, your relationships are easily damaged by how you act when stressed. Irritability, impatience, losing your temper and being aggressive are common reactions to stress. Some people stop communicating and withdraw from others. They stop talking, go in a room, and close the door.

What is the first step in controlling stress?

Recognize the amount of stress you are facing. When faced with many responsibilities, you may only think about-

• how much you have to do
• how little time you have
• the bad things that will happen if you don’t finish

Check your pressure gauge often, especially when you have a lot on your "to do" list. At least several times a day, ask yourself, "How much stress am I feeling now?"