Excerpts

The Book Content

Most books describe ADD and ADHD and its impact on the family in academically sterile terms. Yet, coping with ADD and ADHD can be an intensely emotional experience for both teenagers and their families. If we as parents are aware of the typical behaviors of teens with attention deficit disorders, we are less likely to be shocked by our children’s misbehavior, overreact emotionally, and jump to frightening conclusions about their future. Simply put, the more we parents learn about ADD and ADHD, the easier our parenting job becomes.

In an effort to provide you the most current information, this second edition contains significantly rewritten material plus the most up-to-date research and information that we hope will help you be even better parents for your child. As you can see from reading the Table of Contents, many critical topics are addressed in Teenagers with ADD and ADHD:

• The basics: inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity
• Common behaviors: arguing and talking back, sleep issues, tardiness
• More serious concerns: speeding tickets, substance use, sexuality, suicide risk
• Common learning problems and challenges at school
• Medication

ADD and ADHD from a teen’s perspective

My Perspective

My unique perspective on ADD and ADHD comes from experiences as a former teacher, school psychologist, and mental health counselor and administrator. However, my most valuable education came from the humbling experience of being the mother of Alex and second-mother for Steve, both of whom have attention deficits. I have great admiration for my sons, who have struggled to cope with this disorder. They are delightful adults now and are doing well. Both are college graduates. Steven is general manager of a manufacturing plant and a wonderful husband and father, and Alex is an author, graphic artist, and research and development director for a specialty ammunition company….

Parents Need Help and Hope

Raising a teenager with an attention deficit disorder can be an extremely painful and lonely job for a parent. Because ADD and ADHD are “invisible disabilities,” most parents of these teenagers feel isolated and receive little support and understanding from others. The teenager looks “normal,” but may perform erratically at school and seldom does as parents ask. Some family members and friends may be quick to give advice, saying that strict discipline will solve all the teenager’s problems. However, when your life is personally touched by an attention deficit, your attitude changes dramatically, as my husband explains:

“As a graduate of the US Naval Academy, I thought stern discipline would solve all Steven’s problems. Now that I understand ADHD, I find myself frustrated that most adults have the same attitude I had toward my son. They feel that these children are lazy and don’t care. There are a lot of children in our society who need our understanding. They need to be protected against that type of negative attitude. If all adults had to raise a child with ADD or ADHD and if they could see the dramatic difference medication can make, we could improve the lives of so many children and families.”

When their teenager struggles, parents experience a great deal of anxiety and self-doubt. Sometimes they wonder if they have been “bad” parents or if they have a “bad” child. If, however, they are informed about typical behaviors that teenagers with attention deficits exhibit, as well as potential interventions, parents are able to anticipate and weather the challenges of raising their child.

It may help to know that – with appropriate supports and treatment – most of these teens make it through this difficult period successfully. During the ages from seventeen to twenty-one, many of these teenagers seem to mature and establish a clearer direction for their lives. In fact, researchers tell us that their maturation continues into their early thirties. As they achieve more successes, their self-esteem is bolstered. They appear to settle down and be happier. In addition, many children mature and exhibit milder symptoms as they reach adolescence and adulthood. With proper diagnosis and treatment, most teenagers with Add or ADHD will grow up to be well-adjusted adults.