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What are Social Skills?

Alex is hilarious; at least he thinks so, though no one else seems to get his jokes, no matter how many times he tells them over and over and over again.

Pauline doesn’t understand why her boss is angry with her for whooping it up at work this morning. After all, everybody was pretty crazy at the company picnic this weekend, so what is the problem with bringing some fun back to the job?

Betty can’t understand why she can’t get a date. It’s not for lack of trying, and she is attractive. She’s even gotten to the point of asking people out when she first meets them.

Each of these individuals has difficulty with social skills. What does this mean? Social skills are the behaviors that people see and show when interacting with others. This includes what people say or do, their posture, and their physical location. It also includes their manner of dress, their tone and volume of voice. It is almost anything that is conveyed between people. Social skills cover just about everything that we do or say. Consider your own social skills!

Some social situations are fairly stable and the rules for social skills rarely change. For example, you probably have a basic way that you interact with your boss at work. However, the rules and expectations for social skills can vary greatly in dynamic situations. What may be acceptable behavior in one social situation may not work in another, or can even change within a situation. For example, consider how rapidly events change at a busy party. You may be speaking to one person one minute and someone else the next. Topics of conversation can quickly change depending on who is around.

It’s also important to be able to “read the party” and know whether to stay or leave.