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Life Changes Forever

Sons and daughters often say that, “No one else understood” what it was like after their parent’s brain injury. They describe long days and nights of uncertainty, loneliness, and fear that a parent might die. With the joy and relief of a parent’s survival comes uncertainty about the future.

A child needs to grieve the loss of the known or idealized parent. Grief is not dependent on our ability to understand, but rather on our ability to feel. If a child has the capacity to love, the child has the capacity to mourn. Grief is a process – not an event. There is no time limit and no particular reactions or behaviors. Grieving will vary for each child and it can take many forms.

A brain injury can affect an individual’s personality. The parent is still there but is different. The special parent/child relationship has been lost. The family as it was has also been lost. This can be a death like experience for the child and family. The feelings of loss can be profound.

New Responsibilities

The crisis of brain injury forces many sons and daughters to grow up quickly – sometimes before they are ready. Some feel left out and forgotten at home; some feel overloaded with new responsibilities.

Changes for sons and daughters are…

• helping with physical care
• giving emotional support
• supervising for safety
• helping with communication
• managing new behaviors
• supplementing income, and
• doing things that a parent used to do.