Ending a Friendship

Brain Injury Blog by Janelle Breese Biagioni

April 25, 2011

Ending a Friendship

Ending a relationship is never easy. Even when the ending is by mutual consent, it still can leave you feeling raw and wounded. It is not uncommon after an individual has sustained a brain injury for the person to experience a shift in their friendships. Some grow and expand while others wane away and then fade all together. While this isn’t fair, it is a reality. Here are some suggestions to consider if a friend has ended their relationship with you:

  • It isn’t always about you. More often than not, the person leaves the relationship because THEY are unable to cope with the changes they see.
  • It is extremely easy to take it personally, and if you are, it would be wise to discuss your feelings with a trusted friend or family member or professional.
  • Ask for feedback – but you need to be ready for the answers when you ask the question. Am I socially inappropriate? Have my social skills changed since I was injured? What could I do differently?
  • Significant changes in our life bring about transformation. As we transform, we may see changes on many levels: in our home, friends, and community connections.
  • It’s important to not write yourself off!!! You are a worthwhile person and although your feelings may be hurt, there will be new friends who will come into your life. You need to prepare for that by having an open mind and heart, and do your very best to steer away from negative thinking.
  • Remember… there are others like you who are experiencing the loss of companionship and they too, would like a new friend. Hold your chin up, smile, and do something nice for someone else today. You never know what rewards there may be.

For information on how TBI affects couples, click here!

2 responses to “Ending a Friendship”

  1. Man Simmons says:

    I do agree with all the ideas you’ve presented for your post. They are really convincing and will definitely work. Still, the posts are too quick for newbies. Could you please lengthen them a bit from next time? Thanks for the post.

  2. Marie G. Cooney says:

    Thanks Janelle,
    I think one of the biggest losses I experienced is work related friends. I am no longer abler to work as a stagehand, my previous career for almost twenty years. Sometimes, it is extra hard to stay in touch when no longer having ongoing contact. As has been said to me, too often, “out of sight,is out of mind”. But some very special people will at least try. Sometimes it is as hard for them as it is for us to accept life has changed. As the fifth year anniversary of the injury approached, I finally retired from IATSE, Local 13, the stagehand and wardrobe union. Sad and freeing. Lots of tears.Then I started moving forward more easily. Grief takes the time it takes.
    Marie

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