Understanding When Family and Friends Don’t Know How To Act


Brain Injury Blog by Terri Mongait, EGC

October 25, 2012

Understanding When Family and Friends Don’t Know How To Act

Terri-Mongait-100x150Well I just realized that it has been about a month since my last posting.  Apparently I’ve been very busy (and forgetful).  I enjoyed the wonderful opportunity of travelling to PA for my niece’s wedding.  It was great to see all my family.  We were sitting around on the deck the day after the wedding and at one point I was having trouble following the conversation.  My brother stopped and said  “OK everyone dial their intellect down a notch so Terri can follow”  That was supposed to be funny.  My reaction was wow – that hurt.  I realized that it was his way of dealing with my occasional processing issues.  It makes him uncomfortable and he does not know how to handle it.  I will point out here that he flew across the country to be with my husband, Peter, when I was in ICU.  They played “good cop, bad cop” with the hospital staff to get the answers they needed for my treatment.

When I accepted that Chris said what he said because of his discomfort I was able to laugh with everyone and move on.  No attitude.  Instead I gave loving acceptance.

So it is how you deal with things that come up with family and friends.  You can be “oh crap, I’m broken and they are making fun of me”  OR you can be “wow, they must really be uncomfortable with my issues.  How can I help them understand and thereby help me”

Life is short, we are still here.  Let’s do what we can to be positive and enjoy!  Hugs and blessings.

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2 responses to “Understanding When Family and Friends Don’t Know How To Act”

  1. Susan says:

    The wedding was great. Apparently I gave a fabulous speech. My friend tells me it was from the heart. I didn’t falter once. I can’t remember what I said.
    The rest of the day went well…..

  2. Susan says:

    I cried when I saw this. We have our sons wedding this weekend. People are travelling fro everywhere to get here-. The most rewarding thing I have done since my brain injury is to reorganise our garden. I have worked so hard one square meter at a time. Stepson last night. “I thought it would be finished by now.You’ve had two years.” (He lives in an apartment in New York I have a half an acre block. It hit hard…..

    I intend to enjoy my son’s wedding and keep on going in the garden after the wedding. Sometimes it is other’s expectations that put us down. I can only say that the me inside is so very proud of what I have achieved-all by myself. We live in Australia. He came all that way back for the wedding and that is a bonus.

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