Prisoner of My Mind – A Veteran Battles PTSD and Depression

Brain Injury Blog by Matt Brown

August 14, 2012

Prisoner of My Mind – A Veteran Battles PTSD and Depression

 

 

 

Losing grip
Sliding back 
towards the dark
It took so long to get to where I am now
The weight of it all
Make my arms fail

Trying to dig in
To stay where I am
Clawing at the walls 
Fingers bleeding
Toes torn

The wall is moving
From gentle slope
To sheer wall

Searching for a hold 
A hand
A rope
Something to grasp

The deep chasm
Engulfs the world below me
I’ve been there before
Not wanting to return
Panic builds

My hands beginning to fail
Mind racing to find a solution
Relenting to the fact 
That I will fall

But my body won’t give up
The light of the world
Slowly slides away
The slippery slop of depression
Is winning

Dragging me down
To the abyss
The lightness pit
Closing around me 
Pulling me
Screaming 
I am a prisoner of my own mind
Again

Recommended Reading

Read more by Matt Brown and his deployment in Iraq in The Triumph Book Heroes

2 responses to “Prisoner of My Mind – A Veteran Battles PTSD and Depression”

  1. Larry says:

    I have been a prisoner of my mind for twenty years now. No one in the civilian world understands our pain, or thoughts. I personally am sick of people who say they hate the war, we may hate the war but we do/did what we do for this country. Our freedom is on the backs of all of us serving and protecting this country. No one understand however the stress, the death, the pain we feel. We go in as human beings and come out empty souls and what does this country do for our sacrifice? They throw us to the curb and say we were born broken. It took the US twenty years to finally give me some help and its a lot better now than before but it is a constant struggle. It is a shame we have to beg for help because you don’t want to pay for the damage you have caused. Personally I don’t care about the check, I just want to be able to leave my home again, to smile again and like this post stop being a prisoner of my mind.

  2. Darlene Weber says:

    Matt, You are a true hero to us all! As a mom, I despise war and all the men who are in charge of it! I have 2 step-sons in the army. One just got back from a 3 year tour in Iraq. The other is in Special Forces. I had a nephew die in Iraq from a gun shot to the head, while my step-son held him in his arms. War is an awful thing! But, it has always been fought for peace and freedom. I have had ten strokes. You fought for me! Don’t let depression get the best of you! Don’t let it win! I don’t know you, yet I love you like a son. God bless you and all who have served our country so young. Too young! ♥

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