Healing Your Heart After a Brain Injury

Brain Injury Blog

Healing Your Heart After a Brain Injury – Hope for brain injury survivors

by Barbara Webster

Brain injury can feel like a cold winter.

Brain injury can feel like a cold winter.

Winter can be a tough season for anyone but it can be exceptionally distressing for brain injury survivors.  On top of struggling with the typical “winter blues”, brain injury survivors are struggling with a fundamental Life Crisis: who am I and what is my value if I can’t do what I used to do, if my friends aren’t my friends anymore and am I a problem for my family?

Something you may not realize is that there is commonly a grieving process associated with healing from a brain injury.  You have lost much of your “sense of self”.  You don’t know how much you will get back and you may not know for a long time.  There are often secondary losses as well – jobs, income, homes, friends, even family.  These changes and losses all have a profound effect on a survivor, as well as their family and friends.

In order to heal and be able to move forward, it is essential to acknowledge the losses and allow yourself to mourn. The common stages associated with the grieving process are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, but know that processing grief is not a straightforward path.  Typically one moves back and forth in the different stages.  Know that is “normal”. Support groups can be helpful. Getting in touch with your spiritual guides can help. Professional help is often necessary.

Keep in mind that your family members and friends may be grieving too.  They have lost the person you used to be and the role you used to play in their lives.  They don’t know how much of your former self will return either.

Strategies that can be helpful

  • Keep a Grateful Journal, writing down 3 things every day that were successful, an improvement, or made you smile.
  • Arrange regular get-togethers with friends, even if just to chat on the phone or meet for a cup of tea.
  • Spend some time on a hobby.
  • Practice random acts of kindness.
  • Volunteer.
  • Get some physical exercise, every day.
  • Get outdoors, soak up some sunshine and vitamin D.
  • Sign up for a class, anything that interests you.
  • Think about what is most important to you and how you can bring more of it into your life.
  • Keep your perspective, refer to your calendar and journals to look back and note improvements.  Celebrate what you can do now that you couldn’t do 6 months or a year ago.

Remember that you are still the same unique and valuable person inside, with the same loves that you had before your injury.  No one and no injury can take that away from you.

Depression, like winter, is usually temporary, but if it isn’t and you are losing hope, please seek professional help. 

Lost and Found, A Survivors Guide for Reconstructing  Life after a Brain Injury  

By Barbara Webster

Coping with life after brain injury is not easy. This practical and user friendly workbook and guide for survivors and their families is packed with everyday strategies, tips and accommodations to address the cognitive challenges of daily life.

Based on the author’s experience as a survivor and as a facilitator of hundreds of support groups, she presents a philosophy and approach for overcoming challenges, envisioning goals, and continuing their healing process.

January 25, 2013

3 responses to “Healing Your Heart After a Brain Injury”

  1. Jen says:

    I am a mother of a now 14 year old daughter who had a TBI when she turned 4. This is my first time finding all this wonderful information on this or any website. Because I did not “lose” a child, I did not need to grieve, as what the world was telling me anyway and be happy and thankful that we were able to bring her home. I did come to a point when she was 7 the need for grieving. And again, especially this year, my heart aches tremendously. I too have found this at just the right moment. Thank you for you blog!!

  2. Linda says:

    Hi Jean, I too am a caregiver. My 55 year old husband, a former supervisor in manufacturing, suffered an ABI in 2011. We are learning our “new” normal. He is now permanently disabled and legally blind. Totally dependent on me, it is a whole new life. Best wishes to you and your family, Linda

  3. Jean Clements says:

    I happened upon “Healing Your Heart After a Brain Injury” at exactly the right moment on the right day. Nearly at my wits end and desperate for ways to help my 20 year-old son, whose car accident left him with a TBI, reading this blog entry reminded me to get back to basics and remember that we have to adjust to the “new” normal. Thank you for sharing your invaluable insights.

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