Obsidian by Katie Gielas – Emotional Trauma of a Teen with TBI

Brain injury can be a dark and lonely place.

Brain injury can be a dark and lonely place.

Life you are a complicated ass twat
You make me sad
You make me cry
You make me ask why
I’m in torture
I’m in pain
I’ve lost all my friends but three
And the rest, don’t even realize it
I’m stuck
I don’t know what to do
I can’t do what I love without going into
A devastational pit of despair
I don’t know if I should shut the lights out
And just finish this
Go splash and crash and whoosh
I’m in a deep deep hole of tunnels that are blocked off with
Obsidian boulders and a war of starving carnivores
I’m sad
I want it to end
I want to be gone
I want someone to hold me tight
Someone who doesn’t care that I’m not
Normal and can understand the pain
I’m in
Someone to get my torture
Understand that I watch from afar
Seeking their comfort and regularity
But knowing I’m not able to
For I twitch and am split open in a
Rage of fire within my head for the concrete
Voices cause me the pain while
Those concrete voices see me as an equal
I am secretly fighting a war in my cranium
But this war is against my old self that is gone
Gone in one sweep
One hit
I’m fighting for survival yet seeking love
For I know the Lord loves me and it’s all I need
But I need to survive before I can seek love
I’m in a broke pyramid of needs
I ask the Lord why
And try to understand his plan
Because I need his guidance
Because I am a lost sheep
And I am lonely and lost


2 responses to “Obsidian by Katie Gielas – Emotional Trauma of a Teen with TBI”

  1. Courtney P says:

    My daughter is a teen and we are on the verge of discovering that she has diabetes Insipidius as well as suspicion that her pituitary gland is damaged. She had a vacuum assisted delivery at birth and from the moment she arrived she has struggled with regulating her emotions. She has a hard time relating to peers, wants desperately to fit in. Often she wants her life to end. It is heart breaking as a parent to watch your child feel so alone and misunderstood in the world. Know that you are not alone Katie and that there are people who truly love you and cherish your beautiful soul.

  2. Steve S. says:

    My son is a teenager with TBI. He is my hero. Katie Gielas, you are brave and courageous. Katie Gielas, you are also my hero. God has prepared you to deal with all of this. He’ll be your strength and He’ll be your hiding place. Jesus will not ever forsake you. Lean upon Him and do not ask, “Why?” Trust in Him completely and He will carry you through. It is written that all things work together for the good of those who love God. Those words have helped me believe that in my worst situations, God is still unraveling His plan for me; a plan for good even if I can’t see or understand it. Trust in Jesus, The Word of Life. Call upon the Holy Spirit for fullness of joy, He will comfort you and fill you with peace.

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