Nurture the Living!! by Cathy Powers

C_F Drive Mlyn_Lee Horton_AUTHORS_au-POWERS, Cathy_sustaining powers cover 6-jpegNurture the Living!!

by Cathy Powers, Author of SUSTAINING POWERS: Rising Above Grief and Loss

Which is More Important?

What if you had two fruit trees and one of them died? Would you continue to nurture them both?  You had personally devoted many years loving, caring for, and shaping these amazing fruit trees!  You looked forward to watching both trees produce beautiful fruit for many years.  But, one tree has died.  Would this change your plans for the future?

When the first tree died unexpectedly, would you find a way to accept your painful loss and then give 100% of your time and resources to the tree left living? Or, would you insist on spending the rest of your days giving half (50%) of your time and resources to each, the living and the dead tree? I think we can all agree it would be foolish to continue taking care of the dead tree.  So, let’s take it to a deeper level.

To Serve In Honor

To Serve In Honor

What if one of your two children died? Would you continue to nurture them both?  Why is it that when a loved one passes away, it’s so hard for you and I to accept the loss?  Why do we struggle to let them go? Once a person dies, is there anything we can do to bring our loved one back? The answer is no. So, if we are capable of realizing that taking care of a dead tree is pointless, why do we not arrive at the same conclusion about a loved member of the family who has died?

Since the beginning of time, we are all appointed a day and hour to pass from this life. Not one of us can escape death. Yet when death comes, and especially when it is unexpected and our loved one seemed to have many years left to live, many of us insist on carrying the dead around with us for the rest of our lives, showing them off to anyone who will let us, and not focusing on the loved ones still living.

Our living loved ones deserve our time and attention.

As a grieving mother, who has lost a precious adult child far too early, I now share that I wish I’d had the capacity to see this truth earlier—that our living loved ones need, deserve, and want our time and attention—as clearly as I see it now. I wish I could go back and give my daughter 100% of my “Momma heart” instead of the 50% I gave her, thinking that the other 50% of my time and attention still belonged to her big brother no longer living.

It’s been quite a challenge for me to learn how to better balance my grief journey, staying present and continuing to walk forward in this life without my son. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband and loving daughter, who both deserve to have me whole and as healthy as possible on a daily basis.

Taking time to honor and remember our loved ones is healthy.

Just because my son, who was serving his country, has passed away from this world does not mean that I should move on, forget him, or quit sharing my wonderful memories of his life. My memories of him will always be with me, and I believe it’s healthy to share his life stories, in moderation, with others willing to listen. As long as I live, I will set aside special time to honor and remember him, and I will continue to love him always, knowing I will one day see his beautiful smiling face again.  This, more than anything else, brings me great joy and peace.

Focus on Others

Focus on Others

What is one of the things you are willing to do for the living around you?

Sowing into people’s lives can be as simple as a smile, being a good listener, donating something you no longer use, or want to keep, to a charity.  Or, be kind to someone expecting nothing in return. What are you willing to do for the living around you?

6 responses to “Nurture the Living!! by Cathy Powers”

  1. Robin Mayfield says:

    Congratulations on getting your book published, what an accomplishment! I know sharing your experience will help those who go through the same thing. Blessings to you!

  2. Angie Green says:

    Dear Cathy,
    Genuine words of comfort and encouragement, I do not regret taking the time I needed in the beginning to grieve our son, Kevin. I asked everyone in our family’s permission to grieve and they agreed that it was neessary to mine, as well as there own journey through grief, to give ourselves permission to grieve that “tree,” no longer here with us. Like you, it didn’t take long for me to get to that place where I was focusing on the ones still here with me,but I don’t think I would have been able to get to that place, without first focusing on the pain of the loss of our son and I know that journey through the wilderness of grief was necessary. Blessings on your book and your blog! Keep writing. I will share these with the moms on my FBook page and email distribution. Hugs, Angie Green “A Mother Like Me” @

  3. Jennifer Chambers says:

    Cathy, You have sincerely blessed my heart this morning with your words of wisdom. We all grieve various things and people in our life, but it is imperative that we always look to the living for our strength.
    I have loved you mightily during your journey. It is great to hear that you have turned your grief around to help others. You are such a blessing.

  4. Susan K. Coti says:

    You bring up such an important point, Cathy, to remember the loved ones who are left behind and to remember that they too are suffering. Can’t wait to read your book and become enlightened by your wise words.

  5. Stephanie Stevens says:

    Love you!!!

  6. Karen says:

    I give to my family daily. I guess I need to reach out beyond them.

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